Don't feel sorry for us...

Many times since the twins have been born we have heard things like, "wow, your hands are full" or "I can't handle my 2, how do you handle 5?" Then if they find out the twins have cerebral palsy, most people don't know what to say or they say that they are sorry. I'll be honest, I used to be sorry too. I was sorry for myself. I would think how this could happen to us and how are we going to handle it. Will the twins ever have a "normal life"?

Michael and Matthew were born 8 weeks early in 2008 and spent 7 weeks in the NICU. Once they came home and grew we began to noticed that something was not right. They were not doing the things babies would do normally at their age. Since they were early, we knew they would be delayed but, by a year old they should be able to rollover but, they could not do that! A couple of months after their 1st birthday they were diagnosed with cerebral palsy (cp). We knew something was wrong, but this? This would be something they would have to live with for their whole lives. Hearing that was a hard blow.  Many thoughts filled my mind, "will they ever walk? or how will they survive in this world?" How did this happen and why wasn't it detected when they were at the hospital? 

As time as gone by, things have changed, I have changed.  I've gone from feeling sorry for myself and sorry for them to accepting them for who they are and how God made them.  They really are the most amazing boys I have ever seen.  They are so full of love and joy.  They have no idea that they have a disability.  Don't we all have disabilities though?  Some are just less noticeable on the outside then others.  What is also incredible is how their brothers and sister treat them.  They know nothing different except that the twins were born early and they don't walk yet and that is ok.  They take care of the twins and love them.  What a great lesson for Abigail, Daniel and Christopher to learn:  to accept their brothers for who they are, not what they can do physically.  What we can do physically doesn't and shouldn't define us.  Don't get me wrong, Michael and Matthew are determined little boys.  They are the hardest working boys I have ever seen and they don't give up!  I know I could use to learn that lesson from them.  I admire how brave they are!

I have come to realize how blessed we are to have them.  I still don't understand, nor will I probably ever understand why God would give us such a great blessing and responsibility.  There are days when I am unsure if I can handle it all.  God continues to provide, one day at a time and that is all I can do, is to trust in Him that he will see all of us through (because believe me, I'm blind as a bat!)

So, if you ever see us out, don't feel sorry for us; we don't.  In fact, if you do see us, we are all usually pretty happy and happiness is hard to find sometimes in this world.