If you have been following this blog you know that I started Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) last week. I finished Day 5 with no problems. Well, that night one of my sons woke up with a horrible toothache and I was up with him for half the night. It had been a long time since I had a night with little sleep. I.Felt.Miserable. The first thing I wanted to do when I woke was-EAT. I didn't want a healthy breakfast, no I wanted something that was tasty and full of calories. I will spare the details but I did resist the urge to eat more. Later that morning I had to take my son to the Dr. and afterward, to make him feel better, we went for donuts and this time, I did get donuts. I had 2 and they tasted so good! As soon as I ate them, I felt horrible. Why did I do that to myself? I went to get donuts in the name of making my son feel better but, the truth is, I went there to make myself feel better.
Fast forward to Monday and I found myself in the ER with my husband. He is fine, praise God but once again the stress eating monster appeared. That morning I could not wait to eat the donuts that were left over from Sunday. I consumed them and still wanted to more. How many donuts would I have to eat to feel better? 2?5?10? How many times am I going to do this to myself and think that food is going to make me feel better?
I was remind of a couple of things. I was reminded of how when you do not get enough sleep, your will-power is lowered and you have a harder time fighting those cravings. I was reminded again that no matter how many donuts, ice cream, etc I eat it will never make me feel better. It will never take the place of what I am really craving in that moment; sleep, less stress, break from the kids, a trip to Cancun...
Even though, the last few days have not been "fun", I think God puts these moments in our life so we can learn from them and hopefully make better choices in the future!
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