My Crosses, My Joys

My joyful boys at 4!

I have so much to say and I am unsure where to start.  As I was dropping off the kids at Vacation Bible School this morning the twins group leader, stopped to tell me how wonderful the twins have been.  Not that I am surprised, they are pretty great kids but it was just hearing this from another person.  She went on about how smart they were, how well they participated and how they were always smiling.  I have heard that often from people that the boys smile all the time.  It is true, they are happy kids but, they have their moments like everyone else.  Those boys have been through so much in your life but yet nothing deters them.  I am in awe of what they do and I am humbled that God has made me their mother. 

It is amazing how our crosses can also be a source of our joy.  I am here to tell you, that it is not easy having 5 kids, let alone 2 that have disabilities.  Just the basic things in life that we take for granted have more work to them.  For instance, going potty. By the time most kids are 4 1/2, they can get on and off the potty by themselves.  Michael is just starting to be able to get off the potty by himself but he needs help getting on, pulling up pants, etc.  Matthew can't do either so, we has to be put on and off and help getting to the sink, etc.  I am not complaining, I am proud that the boys can do what the can now.  My point is, is there is more work involved in having twins but, then throw on top of that, the extra help that is needed can sometimes be tiring, especially at the end of the day when all you want to do is tell them to get dressed for bed, brush their teeth and go to bed :-)  Lately, Mark and I will each take a twin and that definitely lightens the load. 

Matthew in Michael during their stay at the NICU 2008

Both boys have been working at therapy and at home with getting dressed and undressed and have made great progress.  The boys continue to make progress in every area of their life.  They are 4 though and they whine and get upset and fight and all the normal things that 4 year old do!  I am thankful for that (though I have to tell myself that on some days).  I am thankful that their disability is only a physical and on the scale of kids with cerebral palsy, mild. 

We were told just a few weeks ago by their school therapist and after school therapist, that kids with cerebral palsy typically don't make the progress that both Michael and Matthew are making on a daily basis.  That just amazes me!  It amazes and humbles me that God would give us these boys to raise.    I am unworthy of such a task and some days that task feels so heavy.  I believe that God has blessed us with 2 wonderful, loving, smart boys.  He has also blessed us and them with 3 siblings who are amazing.  That is a blog for another day. 

I know for me, I have to focus more on the joys part and actually enjoy the joy, if you know what I mean.  I get far too caught up in the work to be done.  This morning, after I got Matthew dressed and put him in his chair to eat breakfast he said he wanted to hug me.  He gave me the biggest, sweetest hug around my neck and when I pulled back, he was just smiling...not that is JOY!