Being Real Tonight

I had thought of many things I could have talked about today but one thing really came to the forefront of my mind; anxiety.  Yes, my name is Allison and I have generalized anxiety disorder.  It is not something I like to talk about but, it is a part of my life.  What brought this on was something that sounds silly.  I tried a new medication today.  I had found out my testosterone was very low and I started a testosterone cream.  Sounds harmless, right?  Well, a half hour after I used it, I started to feel amped up.  I didn't like how it felt and I started to feel anxious.  I started to feel more and more unsettled.  Once Mark got home I started to feel better but, geez I felt silly.  Then, later I needed to go out to the store.  I really didn't want to because I had been feeling anxious and one of the "triggers" for me is driving.  I DON'T like to drive when I feel anixous.  Here is where I had a decision to make.  I could have either stayed at home and given in or take control and go out.  That is what I did.   I not only went out but, worked through it and went shopping.  It was tough but, I did it! 

 I have been living with anxiety/depression since I was about 19.  Sometimes it has been worse rather than better but, I have found ways to work through it.  I have a supportive husband who understands when I am struggling.  To be fair, another thing that made add to my anxiety today was our landlord coming over and having a realtor look at the property.  Granted, in this economy, nothing is going to sell anytime soon but, it was a reminder that this is not our home and we are at the mercy of someone else.  Most days it doesn't bother me but, it got to me today. 

So, what do I do to live with this and to pursue a "normal" life?  It isn't just one thing, it is a puzzle that keeps me together.  First, I take medication.  I hope there is a day that I don't have to be but, for now I need it. Second, trust in God (I know that should be first but bare with me).  Trust that the Lord will provide and take care of my family and me.  Third, diet and exercise.  I am believer that diet and exercise has helped me handle life better.  I have been doing at home fitness through Beachbody.  That has been such a gift to me.  I have been able to exercise at home, when I want.  Diet is another important part.  Do I have the "eating better" thing down pat, no.  I still like my ice cream and french fries but, overtime I have learned to modify what I eat.  For instance, I won't eat fast food for the most part anymore and if I do, I look for one of the best things on the menu.  I drink my Shakeology.  That shake helps give me a very balanced meal everyday.  I am on the go a lot so to have a shake or protein bar is important.  Fourth, which is really not fourth but, family.  My husband is a great support and understands when I am struggling and drops everything to help me.  He is my best friend.

Overall wellness is a journey.  I am know where near to where I would like to be.  Some days I take 5 steps back and other days I feel like I leaped light years ahead.  Life is a great puzzle, isn't it? 

One thing I have been doing recently is coaching with Beachbody.  That has really been fullfilling for me.  It is such a joy to help other people from the things I have learned through trial and error.  If you have ever thought about at home business or helping people with their fitness journeys, contact me!  I love to know you and help you. 

Now I must go and do the most important job I have, helping my son make his puzzle :-)  Until next time!

Tropical Storm Debby Won't Stop Me!

For those of you who haven't heard, Florida has been being pounded by Tropical Storm Debby.  I live in Florida and we have been getting LOTS of rain.  What is ironic is I have a degree in meteorology and used to watch the weather all the time.  Since having kids, the only amount of weather watching I do, is looking out the window.  Needless to say, I did not see this coming!  We were on our way to church Sunday morning and I was wondering where all this wind, clouds, and warm rain were coming from.  I didn't have to look any further than my smart phone to see that we were being hit by rain from the tropical storm.  I digress...

Sunday was a rest day for me for exercise so I didn't mind so much that it was raining and dreary.  It was one of those days were you just want to curl up and read a book or play games with the kids.  Monday though, was a different story.  It was back at it on Monday with my Brazilian Butt Lift, Sculpt.  I don't know about you but, when it is raining and dark and dreary, the LAST thing I want to do is exercise.  The old me would have procrastinated until it was too late to do anything.  I was proud of myself, I didn't.  I got my workout in and felt good about it.  My eating choices weren't all that great for the day but at least got worked some of it off! 

My husband, started P90X yesterday.  I was proud of him too for getting it done when motivation was low.  It was so fun watching him exercise with all the kids trying to exercise with him.  The twins trying to do sit-ups and push-ups was precious.  Abigail was doing a great job with the mason twists (for those who have done P90X, you know what I am talking about)! 

Speaking of P90X and BBL, Beachbody, the company that produces these awesome at home workout videos is running an incredible deal right now.  If you have ever wanted to try at-home fitness this, is the time.  You can try P90X or BBL or TurboFire AND a bag of Shakeology for 1 month for only $14.95.  That is an awesome!  If you don't know what Shakeology is, please check out the link I have attached.  It really is the best meal of the day!  Please talk to me about this incredible deal and/or check-out the website:  https://extranet.securefreedom.com/MillionDollarBody/csShopping/ShoppingCart.asp?Cat=&ProductID=&InvCountry=USA and then click on Trial Offers.  Really, ask me anything about these programs, I would love to help!

Wow..I think I see some blue skies coming back...

2 Weeks of BBL Complete!

I finished week 2 of Brazilian Butt Lift.  Today I added ankle weights to the routine called, "High & Tight".  I could definitely feel by butt and my hamstrings getting a better workout.  I might be sore tomorrow, but it will be a good sore :-)  I am continuing to get the moves down in Cardio Axe and I am having more fun with it. 

I haven't taken my measurements in a while, so I am going to and see if any inches have been lost! 

Back to Brazilian Butt Lift!

Well, after taking a couple unplanned days off of BBL, I was back at it yesterday.  It felt great to be back to exercising!  Yesterday I did 45 minutes of Scuplt.  I worked every muscle using weights and my own bodies resistance. 
It was funny because when I started exercising the twins asked me why I wasn't doing TurboFire.  They like TurboFire better and wanted me to do do that.  I miss Chalene too, but I needed to try something else ;-) 
I ate well yesterday and didn't over eat (Yeah!)  Today I am craving something sweet so I am trying not to think about it.  Sometimes I feel like if I don't have donut, cookie, etc now, I am going to go crazy (ok, that is a little drastic but, sometimes true).  I am trying to remind myself of the bigger picture.  I will be 37 in 2 months and I would like to weigh less than I did last year when I turned 36.  40 is creeping up and I want to be in better shape when I am 40 than when I was 20! 

The Stress Eating Monster Makes an Appearance

If you have been following this blog you know that I started Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) last week. I finished Day 5 with no problems.  Well, that night one of my sons woke up with a horrible toothache and I was up with him for half the night. It had been a long time since I had a night with little sleep.  I.Felt.Miserable.  The first thing I wanted to do when I woke was-EAT.  I didn't want a healthy breakfast, no I wanted something that was tasty and full of calories.  I will spare the details but I did resist the urge to eat more.  Later that morning I had to take my son to the Dr. and afterward, to make him feel better, we went for donuts and this time, I did get donuts.  I had 2 and they tasted so good!  As soon as I ate them, I felt horrible.  Why did I do that to myself?  I went to get donuts in the name of making my son feel better but, the truth is, I went there to make myself feel better. 

After doing that though, I didn't say "the hell with it" for the rest of the day and eat poorly.  Also, despite being sleep deprived I DID do my workout and I was proud of that!

Fast forward to Monday and I found myself in the ER with my husband.  He is fine, praise God but once again the stress eating monster appeared. That morning I could not wait to eat the donuts that were left over from Sunday.  I consumed them and still wanted to more.  How many donuts would I have to eat to feel better? 2?5?10?  How many times am I going to do this to myself and think that food is going to make me feel better?

I was remind of a couple of things.  I was reminded of how when you do not get enough sleep, your will-power is lowered and you have a harder time fighting those cravings.  I was reminded again that no matter how many donuts, ice cream, etc I eat it will never make me feel better.  It will never take the place of what I am really craving in that moment; sleep, less stress, break from the kids, a trip to Cancun...

Even though, the last few days have not been "fun", I think God puts these moments in our life so we can learn from them and hopefully make better choices in the future!

Day 5 of BBL in the Bag!

After a day of rest yesterday, I was back on it today with Day 5.  Before I got to my workout, I enjoyed a great performance from my kids on the last day of Vacation Bible School.  I especially loved the twins dancing!

Well today my Brazilian Butt Lift workouts were Cardio Axe, which is 30 minutes of Brazilian/South American dance moves.  There are different sambas and great moves.  I am getting comfortable with the moves and I am able to get into more.  The 2nd one was one called High and Tight.  That is 35 minutes of concentrating on the booty and let me tell you, he works it from every angle!  The core of this workout is working the 3 muscle groups of the glutes in as many directions as possible.  While I was lying on the floor doing some moves, my cat even joined me, well, not really she came to give me moral support but that is besides the point ;-)  At the same time my 2 oldest were carrying on a conversation with me about going to the beach.  It is a good thing us women know how to multi-task! 

All and all it was a good workout and I look forward to tomorrow!

Day 3 of Brazilian Butt Lift Down!

Well, yesterday I completed the 3rd day of BBL.  It was a tough workout.  I was sore from the day before and my legs were screaming!  They did not want me to do lunges, so I didn't go as deep into them. 

I am getting the moves down more and the dancing is quite fun.  This is a great longer body workout and I feel it!  I definitely get a good sweat and have fun at the same time.  I am still trying to get used to Leandro's accent. My kids still think the workout is "weird".  What do kid know about wanting to have a better looking backside ;-)

Today is a rest day and according to the calendar it says to take a nice bath...so I think I will tonight!

My Crosses, My Joys

My joyful boys at 4!

I have so much to say and I am unsure where to start.  As I was dropping off the kids at Vacation Bible School this morning the twins group leader, stopped to tell me how wonderful the twins have been.  Not that I am surprised, they are pretty great kids but it was just hearing this from another person.  She went on about how smart they were, how well they participated and how they were always smiling.  I have heard that often from people that the boys smile all the time.  It is true, they are happy kids but, they have their moments like everyone else.  Those boys have been through so much in your life but yet nothing deters them.  I am in awe of what they do and I am humbled that God has made me their mother. 

It is amazing how our crosses can also be a source of our joy.  I am here to tell you, that it is not easy having 5 kids, let alone 2 that have disabilities.  Just the basic things in life that we take for granted have more work to them.  For instance, going potty. By the time most kids are 4 1/2, they can get on and off the potty by themselves.  Michael is just starting to be able to get off the potty by himself but he needs help getting on, pulling up pants, etc.  Matthew can't do either so, we has to be put on and off and help getting to the sink, etc.  I am not complaining, I am proud that the boys can do what the can now.  My point is, is there is more work involved in having twins but, then throw on top of that, the extra help that is needed can sometimes be tiring, especially at the end of the day when all you want to do is tell them to get dressed for bed, brush their teeth and go to bed :-)  Lately, Mark and I will each take a twin and that definitely lightens the load. 

Matthew in Michael during their stay at the NICU 2008

Both boys have been working at therapy and at home with getting dressed and undressed and have made great progress.  The boys continue to make progress in every area of their life.  They are 4 though and they whine and get upset and fight and all the normal things that 4 year old do!  I am thankful for that (though I have to tell myself that on some days).  I am thankful that their disability is only a physical and on the scale of kids with cerebral palsy, mild. 

We were told just a few weeks ago by their school therapist and after school therapist, that kids with cerebral palsy typically don't make the progress that both Michael and Matthew are making on a daily basis.  That just amazes me!  It amazes and humbles me that God would give us these boys to raise.    I am unworthy of such a task and some days that task feels so heavy.  I believe that God has blessed us with 2 wonderful, loving, smart boys.  He has also blessed us and them with 3 siblings who are amazing.  That is a blog for another day. 

I know for me, I have to focus more on the joys part and actually enjoy the joy, if you know what I mean.  I get far too caught up in the work to be done.  This morning, after I got Matthew dressed and put him in his chair to eat breakfast he said he wanted to hug me.  He gave me the biggest, sweetest hug around my neck and when I pulled back, he was just smiling...not that is JOY!

Day 1: Brazilian Butt Lift, The Bum Bum

Today was Day 1 of the Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) program I started.  Well, I was looking for a less intense program for the summer and so far, BBL is not less intense.  My "bum bum" got quite the workout this afternoon!  I thought after doing 20 weeks of Turbo Fire, I would not have to work as hard, but I was wrong.  I am glad that I was wrong.  Working this hard just means I have more work to do and I am working different muscle groups harder.  So all and all it was a good first day.  I feel good about what I did. 

The next big part though is eating right too.  That means no late night snacking and eating too much.  My biggest struggle has always been eating sweets especially late at night.  I am hoping this blog will help keep me accountable to not give into the temptation of sweets and over-indulging. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings :-)  Till tomorrow...

Take the Brazilian Butt Lift Challenge, who's with me?

Yes, it is called the Brazilian Butt Lift but, before you laugh and say no way, I would like you to take a look at it an see what you think.  I plan on starting the challenge on June 18th but you can join in anytime in the month of June.  Here is the link to the program here:  https://extranet.securefreedom.com/MillionDollarBody/csShopping/ShoppingCart.asp?Cat=Fitness Program|Brazil Butt Lift  

This is a fun, exercise program set to great music.  The program is a 30 day program but, I plan on doing it for 60 days.  I would love to do this with some people to help motivate each other and be successful at it.  This program is great because you can do it from the comfort of your own home and nobody besides maybe your family would have to see you "shake your booty". 

Let me know if you want to join me in doing this, I think it will be a lot of fun!

What inspires me...

I never thought walking would be so interesting and joyful to watch until I had two sons that couldn't do it without a lot of hard work.  Michael is only 4 years old and he has accomplished so much in his 4 short years.  I am in awe of him on a daily basis and all that he can do and the hope and confidence in all he WILL do in the future.  This is a major step for him and he will keep building on it.  Other problems seem so small when I think about all my boys have been through.

Way to go Michael!

Energy & Persistence conquer all things-Benjamin Franklin



Kids and Dogs

Last night my son, Daniel's cub scout pack went to the Tallahassee K-9 unit to see how they train the dogs and learn more about what they do.  It was a family event, so we took all 7 of us.  It sounded like a really interesting experience and we were all excited about it! 

Well, it turned out to be so much fun.  It was amazing what these police officers are able to do with their dogs which, by the way, are all male German shepherd dogs.  The dogs even live with their particular officer.  We were told it takes about 2 years to completely train a dog and to be on the "same page" with each other.  I think one of the best parts was watching one of the officers be "attacked" by a dog.  I tell you, I would NOT want to be on the other end of that dog! 

What really touched me and warmed my heart was how the officers were with the kids.  They were patient and kind in answering all their questions and really took the time to explain to all of us what they do and why they do it.  What was wonderful to me was the attention they paid especially to Michael and Matthew.  Michael was in his walker and Matthew in his wheelchair.  One officer came right over to them and talked to them once we got there.  Once the evening was about over he made sure that both Michael and Matthew were able to pet and touch his dog, Buster.  The boys were so happy and really took to the dog.  I was thankful for the opportunity to have my children share in such a great event.  I have included some pictures here and the pictures speak better than any words I have. 

I wonder how I can get a dog like that for the house...

Choice Challenge for June

When I was driving into work this morning I was listening to a local talk radio station.  The host was speaking to a Dr. about obesity in our country.  He spoke about how 1/3 of Americans are obese.  He talked about how we need to get our children out to play and not sit inside playing video games are watching tv because we are not helping our children by doing that. 

Then, awhile later a read an article in the newspaper about WWJE (What Would Jesus Eat).  The title was kind of silly but made sense.  The article discussed how Jesus would have eaten and if there were drive-throughs in the 1st century, Jesus wouldn't have "super-sized" it on the way to giving a sermon.  Jesus also walked ALOT.  The premise of the article was about how in the 21st century we have lost the spirit of moderation.  The word gluttony is not used anymore.  What we do physically will effect how we are emotionally, spiritually, mentally.  They are all connected. 

I have heard most of this before but it is good to be reminded.  This may sound cliche but it is true, "You are what you eat".  I am not saying to not enjoy something decadent or sweet but, don't sit down and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's (I know because I have done it more times then I can count).  It also made me think of the example I am setting for my kids.  Do I want them to develop the bad eating habits I have, but am I going to do something different?  Am I going to show them how to love themselves by showing them how to take care of their bodies or am I going to teach them my bad habits so they struggle with making the right food choices?  I don't want to go down the rabbit hole with this but, I think we all understand what we eat DOES effect our self-image (I think this is especially true for women). 

So this month I am going to challenge myself to set a better example for my family on what I put into my body.  I am going to be more conscience of this, not only so I can be healthier but, my kids can have a better example of how to take care of themselves. 

Who would like to join me in this challenge?  If you don't have kids, you can still do this.  Challenge yourself to take better care of yourself.  This isn't about losing weight, this is about making better choices so we can participate for fully in the life that God has given us.  Weight loss will be a natural "side-effect" of eating healthy and exercising. 

I Challenge You Not to Cry...

I cam across this YouTube video today of a boy named Matt with spastic cerebral palsy.  He participated in his school's field day event and ran the 400 m with his classmates.  Check the video here:

Seeing this boy's determination in the face of his disability left me only with tears of joy.  Seeing his classmates rally around him gives me hope for our children. 

I can't help but see Michael and Matthew's spirit in this boy!