Friday, June 29, 2012

Being Real Tonight

I had thought of many things I could have talked about today but one thing really came to the forefront of my mind; anxiety.  Yes, my name is Allison and I have generalized anxiety disorder.  It is not something I like to talk about but, it is a part of my life.  What brought this on was something that sounds silly.  I tried a new medication today.  I had found out my testosterone was very low and I started a testosterone cream.  Sounds harmless, right?  Well, a half hour after I used it, I started to feel amped up.  I didn't like how it felt and I started to feel anxious.  I started to feel more and more unsettled.  Once Mark got home I started to feel better but, geez I felt silly.  Then, later I needed to go out to the store.  I really didn't want to because I had been feeling anxious and one of the "triggers" for me is driving.  I DON'T like to drive when I feel anixous.  Here is where I had a decision to make.  I could have either stayed at home and given in or take control and go out.  That is what I did.   I not only went out but, worked through it and went shopping.  It was tough but, I did it! 

Anxious p... I have been living with anxiety/depression since I was about 19.  Sometimes it has been worse rather than better but, I have found ways to work through it.  I have a supportive husband who understands when I am struggling.  To be fair, another thing that made add to my anxiety today was our landlord coming over and having a realtor look at the property.  Granted, in this economy, nothing is going to sell anytime soon but, it was a reminder that this is not our home and we are at the mercy of someone else.  Most days it doesn't bother me but, it got to me today. 
So, what do I do to live with this and to pursue a "normal" life?  It isn't just one thing, it is a puzzle that keeps me together.  First, I take medication.  I hope there is a day that I don't have to be but, for now I need it. Second, trust in God (I know that should be first but bare with me).  Trust that the Lord will provide and take care of my family and me.  Third, diet and exercise.  I am believer that diet and exercise has helped me handle life better.  I have been doing at home fitness through Beachbody.  That has been such a gift to me.  I have been able to exercise at home, when I want.  Diet is another important part.  Do I have the "eating better" thing down pat, no.  I still like my ice cream and french fries but, overtime I have learned to modify what I eat.  For instance, I won't eat fast food for the most part anymore and if I do, I look for one of the best things on the menu.  I drink my Shakeology.  That shake helps give me a very balanced meal everyday.  I am on the go a lot so to have a shake or protein bar is important.  Fourth, which is really not fourth but, family.  My husband is a great support and understands when I am struggling and drops everything to help me.  He is my best friend.
Overall wellness is a journey.  I am know where near to where I would like to be.  Some days I take 5 steps back and other days I feel like I leaped light years ahead.  Life is a great puzzle, isn't it? 
One thing I have been doing recently is coaching with Beachbody.  That has really been fullfilling for me.  It is such a joy to help other people from the things I have learned through trial and error.  If you have ever thought about at home business or helping people with their fitness journeys, contact me!  I love to know you and help you. 
Now I must go and do the most important job I have, helping my son make his puzzle :-)  Until next time!

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