I have been wanting to write about my grandmother's death for the past 2 weeks since her passing. I have had so many ideas and memories swimming around in my head, I wasn't sure how to put "pen to paper" or "fingers to keyboard". I have finally decided to just go with it and see where it takes me.
It is hard for me to believe that my grandma, Violet or as she always signed her cards, "Grandma J" has passed from this life to the next. I know I feel this way because I have not seen her in 7 years and I haven't seen her much at all in the past 15. I live in Florida and she lived in New Jersey and as my own family grew, it was very difficult for me to travel to see her. That doesn't change that she is gone and I won't see her again on this side of heaven.
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| Grandpa, Grandma and me (1977) |
Her and my grandfather have made an indelible mark on my heart and in my life. As a child, I spent many days and weekends with both of them. We did everything from play cards (which my grandpa always won), eat, talk, walk around Passaic, NJ going to various bakeries and delis, eat some more, visit family, laugh and once again eat. In a Polish household, there is a lot of good eating going on :-) My grandparents lived in an apartment building and I used to "go downstairs" and play Bingo with all the old folk. I tell you, I felt more comfortable around adults, especially older people then I did kids my age!
My grandma was always sweet, loving, kind and there for me. She would carry the biggest purse/bag around and I think she did have everything in there but the kitchen sink! You wanted some candy, it was in there, a hat b/c it was cold, it was in there, scratch off lottery tickets, they were in there too. She always had exactly what I wanted.
My grandma was always sweet, loving, kind and there for me. She would carry the biggest purse/bag around and I think she did have everything in there but the kitchen sink! You wanted some candy, it was in there, a hat b/c it was cold, it was in there, scratch off lottery tickets, they were in there too. She always had exactly what I wanted.
She was always there for all of us. My grandpa was 15 years her senior and as he got older and was confined to a wheelchair, my grandma was ever by his side helping him to and fro and doing so much for him. What was even more amazing was my grandma was barely 5 feet and he was over 6 feet. She was strong, little lady in more ways than one!
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| Daniel with his Great-Grandma (2005) |
When I was a teenager, my mother, my grandma and I (and usually a friend) would go down the Jersey Shore. Those will always be fun and good memories. My grandpa died when I was 16 and not long after that, I left for college in Florida. My grandma flew on her first plane ever, with my mom, to come and see me. She always wrote me letters, sent me money to go out to eat and we talked on the phone. After college, I stayed in Florida, got married and started a family of my own so, traveling was never in my picture with so many little ones. We did get to go visit her in 2005 when my oldest 2 children were 2 years and 6 months at the time. That is the one and only time she ever got to see her great-grandchildren. That will always break my heart that she never got to enjoy her 5 "great-grands" as she would call them. I know she is enjoying watching them from heaven.
Over the past 2 weeks I have really thought about her and her life and the time she grew up in. She was the child of Hungarian and Polish immigrants. She lived in a time where woman didn't drive, in fact, I don't think she ever drove in her whole life. She always lived in the city so there was no need for cars. Transportation was a bus or your own 2 feet. She lived through World War II. She saw her sons go off to war during Vietnam. She always loved and was there for her 6 grandchildren.
She was worried and concerned as to where this country was heading. I remember having a conversation with her years ago and she was worried about where are country was headed and concerned for me and her great-grands. I can certainty see why she felt that way.
There is so much more I can say about her but, words just don't do. This picture below, is how I will always remember them. They always made me feel so loved and special. I will always carry that with me. My grandma was one of a kind and she is terribly missed. I know she and my grandpa are smiling down at us from heaven and I look forward to the day that I can be with them again.
I love you.
"I Will Remember You" by Amy Grant came out around the time my Grandpa died and everytime I hear it, I think of him and now my Grandma.
Hi Cousin, that was a beautiful and heartfelt post. It's amazing what the mind can recall about amazing and influential people in our lives. We were so fortunate and blessed to have had such a special Grandmother. She was in my dream a few nights ago. As she was about to walk out the front door, she turned to me and gave me a big hug and kiss and told me.she'll always love me. It was so emotional that I woke up. I wrote a poem about her many years ago. I'll have to find it and post it here. I recall more memories everyday. I'm sure you do as well. Make sure you add addendums to this beautiful post. I remember she always had the biggest "pocket book" purse with everything in it! I always think of her when I see refrigerator magnets. Remember she had a million of them all over the kitchen. I'll never forget the smell of freshly cooked perogies and the Brown chex cereal was the best. In the apt entrance she always stocked plenty of coloring books for us. And she had the cutest chuckle. No wonder where Uncle Alex got his contagious laugh from. We're a part of her, so let's take her with us everyday.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my post. It is amazing how much you can remember. I remember all those things as well. I did forget to say that I was able to sing Happy Birthday to her on her birthday this year. Aunt Rosie put my mom and I on speaker and we were able to talk to her and sing to her. She couldn't speak but I can hear her making "happy noises". I am so thankful I was able to talk to her one more time and tell her how I felt. She did have the cutest chuckle. My mom laughs the same with her grandkids :-) Everytime I hear her laugh, I think of grandma! I do and will take her with me.
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